Speedy Boarding with Alexander Ipfelkofer
Speedy Boarding with Alexander Ipfelkofer
Japan, Naxos and climate change with the writer of Tales from the Defrag
Welcome back to Speedy Boarding, a bi-weekly series on Not That You Asked that is great news for those of you who are getting sick of me. That’s because it’s a series where I ask some of my favourite writers on Substack eight quick-ish questions about travel. So, the vast majority of the words you’re about to read weren’t written by me but by someone else.
This week the questions are being answered by
who writes . Alexander, originally from Bavaria, now lives in France near Paris with his wife and son. When COVID hit and his office closed the following year, he returned to his passion: creative writing. He writes speculative fiction that explores the intersection between man and machine, blending adventure, mystery, and the occasional alien.He’s serialized Carter, an archaeological thriller, and published a collection of short stories. With a background in German linguistics, English philology, and American literature, he also brings over a decade of stage acting and nearly two decades of AAA video game development experience. Alexander enjoys photography and apple strudel with a touch of cinnamon.
Right, let’s get to the questions.
Where is the best place you’ve ever been and why?
Is there one best place? One best dish, movie, song, or book? It depends on so many factors—your state of mind, mood, and who you're with. If I had to name one place to rule them all... and in the darkness bind them (I couldn't resist)—great book, by the way—I’d say Borobudur. But with one caveat: you need to be there at sunrise, which unfortunately isn’t possible anymore.
When the sun comes up, and those beams break through the clouds and hit the stupas, with the mist hovering above the forest canopy, it’s a truly magical experience that will stay with you forever. I wrote about it in one of my previous Foto Friday posts.
Our guide mentioned that reaching into one of the stupas and touching the Buddha inside brings good fortune and a blessing. There are 504 Buddha statues at Borobudur, 72 of them inside stupas. You need long arms to reach. How do you know which one to touch for luck? Any of them? Our guide showed us the "right" one, and of course, we gave it a try—well, I did. Did it work? The jury’s still out.
Where is the place you most want to visit?
I want to travel the world, but I also don’t want to travel the world, carbon footprint and all that. Ecologically speaking, travel should be limited to essential trips. Phase out all combustion engine vehicles, and after googling “how eco-friendly are cruise ships?” we no longer wanted to go on that cruise. Then again, there are far more freighters than cruise ships (~60k vs 360) worldwide, and they are even less “green.”
NASA’s EMIT mission is mapping Methane Super Emitters, which is eye-opening, and then there’s Turkmenistan’s “Door to Hell,” a 70-meter wide crater formed as the result of a drilling accident in 1971. It’s been burning natural gas ever since. I referenced both in my speculative fiction story “The Man Who Wouldn’t Die.”
All that gloom and doom and climate change aside, I’ve wanted to visit Tokyo since I was a kid, but it has yet to happen. I am fascinated by the culture and love samurai movies, especially Shōgun—I prefer the 1980 version, although the 2024 version is very good, too. I also have sizable collection of Game & Watch LCD games.
Who's your dream travel companion?
Everything is better together. Nothing beats enjoying and exploring new places with family, and our different interests make for a much richer travel experience. There’s always the option of doing things on your own, which, in my case, involves booking a short trip to remote locations to take photos all day long together with other photographers, as I did at Sawarna Beach.
This place was so remote that at one point, we had to cross a flimsy bridge over a gorge on the back of an ojek (motorbike taxi), hanging on for dear life. Raging river below? Check. Sharp rocks at the bottom? Check. The bridge was but a few planks of wood held together by a wee worn rope, and, yes, it was narrow, so narrow that the mopeds barely fit on it, and only one at a time could pass. One of the photographers fell off just after crossing the bridge. Lucky. She only hurt her backside. A second earlier, she’d be down in the rapids. Whether that bridge is still there today, I don’t know; I never went back.
Great news! I'm going to buy you a hat. The catch is that you have to wear this hat on every future travel trip at all times. What kind of hat would you like?
Why, thank you. A hat—a great hat, or a cap, because a cap is a hat and although not a baseball fan per se, I do wear baseball caps. My current corduroy brown cap has “Helsinki” embroidered on it. This often prompts people to ask me how I liked Helsinki, to which I reply that I don’t know; I’ve never been. I sure like the hat, though.
Where is the place you never want to go back to?
You may not believe it, but right now, that would be Bali. We’ve just returned from there, and the amount of trash we witnessed during our summer vacation is unfathomable. I don’t want to be a part of this, so I won’t return. Sadly, pollution due to tourism is a general problem that follows you everywhere. We travelled around Bali quite a bit and were excited to return after eight years, but we were ultimately shocked by what we found. Unfortunately, only the idea of an idyllic Bali remains. I wrote about our Bali experience here and here.
As for bad experiences, there are many places—hotels, restaurants and tourist attractions—we’ll never revisit and will, in fact, warn any and everyone to avoid, like the famous “Harry Potter” bookshop in Porto. Cannot recommend, too crowded, too commercial, too expensive (yes, there’s an entrance fee to enter the store). Anyway, we went inside, and we hated every minute. Do yourself a favour and save your money and time.
You've been given a million pounds to live your best life in one destination for a year. The problem is - you're trapped there and can't leave for the year. Where would you go?
As I mentioned, I’d go to Japan, live outside Tokyo—maybe Izu—get Lost in Translation with Hibiki, climb Mount Fuji, learn the language, eat lots of sushi, and write my next novel. Does anyone want to finance this? I’m open to it. :-)
You see, it’s all a matter of perspective. You say the problem is you’re trapped. Another way to look at it is that you’d be free for the first time in forever to do what you are meant to do without any worries. The dream. However, it might be better to put that million quid into a boring fund and live off the interest in an affordable remote location, with a garden and a dog. The real problem is that once you’ve tasted that freedom, you’ll do anything to get it back, and when you return to your mundane life after that year, every day you will feel trapped.
How do you decide where to visit next?
Budget. Money. Dineros. Very pragmatic, but as any parent will tell you, planning a trip for three where the kid no longer counts as a kid but must pay adult prices, and where you’re limited to high season due to school schedules, is a surefire way for insane prices wherever you plan to go. Tip: Book one or two days before school ends to get a cheaper flight. Unless, of course, money is not an issue. In that case, I hear Fiji is nice this time of year, or Hawaii, or maybe you want to go on a walkabout in the Outback, sit with the monks in Tibet, fly to the moon and back. Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.
In absence of the gold, there are still places you can visit, and sometimes, you might want to revisit places. For us, that would be Greece, specifically Naxos. However, it has been a couple of years and it might have changed since we’ve last been. Returning to a place with fond memories carries a certain risk; sometimes, those precious memories can get spoiled.
I remember one time after dinner at the place we were staying on Naxos, our host came out of the kitchen and handed us a gigantic watermelon for the room in case we wanted dessert later. Free. Simply because they thought we’d like to have some. It was a small family-owned place far from the tourist beaches, with a three-star rating that easily trumps any five-star hotel—maybe not in terms of facilities but certainly in every other way, including that priceless human touch.
Should we go back to Naxos? Oh well, we’ll just have to risk it.
And finally, what's the one thing you never leave home without when travelling?
That’s easy—my trusted Tom (not Fish) Bihn Small Cafe Bag with Freudian Slip. It's nearly indestructible, incredibly versatile and big enough to hold all the essentials and then some. Plus, it comes with a lifetime guarantee. Perfect. No bag has ever come close for me thus far. If you know a better bag, I’d like to see it.
A huge thanks to Alexander for agreeing to be part of Speedy Boarding. If you liked this post please do consider becoming a free or paid subscriber to Tom Fish Is Away. Paid subscribers get an extra travel diaries each month. If £3.99 is a bit steep in this economy there’s a 75% off for the first year sale on at the moment.
The next Speedy Boarding will drop on the 7th of November!
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Thank you both for transporting me!
Great read, guys, thanks. That bag...pretty snazzy!